Expressing our grievances on social media: Who are you really talking to?

I once came across a great insight by Aristotle: 

“Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy.”

Recently, while watching Facebook friends express their grievances, I was reminded of this and wondered whether social media was a productive force in helping us better manage our emotions.

Before I express any of my own grievances, I am usually triggered by thoughts, emotions, ideas or feelings. This can either elicit an automated response, or an internal reflection, before taking action. 

When I experience a deep sense of clarity - an automated response works well. But sometimes the latter is more appropriate. Stephen Covey describes it nicely with his play on ‘response-ability’. The ability to choose our responses.

Knowing when to remain in automatic mode and when to switch gear is not so easy and can be counter-intuitive. The intuition to go into automatic can sometimes be flawed, for example we may feel anger towards Trump on Social media, however it may have less to do with him and more to do with our own inner conflicts.

The alternative is to give ourselves time to breathe and to use our own bodies and brains as a filter for understanding what has been triggered. This creates an opportunity for a more genuine and thoughtful response.

So next time you’d like to share on social media, take a step back and reflect on what is occurring within you. Experience those inner sensations more deeply and think about who you’d like to share these with (and why) before deciding what to do next. 

Perhaps you will take a hard stance on an important cause. Perhaps you will offer someone support. Or perhaps you’ll give social media a pass, and express yourself somewhere else.